Shadows of wildstone, p.1
Shadows of Wildstone, page 1
MANDY MAGRO lives in Cairns, Far North Queensland, with her husband, Des, their daughter, Chloe Rose, two adorable pooches, Sophie and Sherlock, and the largest personalities of the household, Charlie and Lola the loveably sassy cockatiels, Star the comical Indian Ringneck, and Jet, the hilariously chatty Hahns Macaw. With pristine aqua-blue coastline in one direction and sweeping rural landscapes in the other, she describes her home as heaven on earth. A passionate woman and a romantic at heart, Mandy loves writing about soul-deep love, the Australian way of life, and the wonderful characters that call the country home.
Also by Mandy Magro
Rosalee Station
Jacaranda
Flame Tree Hill
Driftwood
Country at Heart
The Wildwood Sisters
Bluegrass Bend
Walking the Line
Along Country Roads
Moment of Truth
A Country Mile
Return to Rosalee Station
Secrets of Silvergum
Riverstone Ridge
The Stockman’s Secret
Home Sweet Home
Savannah’s Secret
Road to Rosalee
Back to the Country
Jillaroo from Jacaranda
Gum Tree Gully
Secrets of Riverside
Silverton Shores
Weathering the Storm
One More Time
www.harpercollins.com.au/hq
For my soul sisters (in alphabetical order because you’re all equally special to me) … Bec, Helen, Suz and Tia. I’m eternally grateful I’ve found my wild tribe of likeminded, free-spirited, inspirational women! Life wouldn’t be the same without having all of you skipping and laughing alongside me! And we’ll always adjust each other’s crowns, without conditions or expectations, I just know it.
Love you all heaps.
xx
If you throw caution to the wind, how far do you have to fall before you create a void between the present and the past?
CONTENTS
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Acknowledgements
CHAPTER
1
The day after her twenty-ninth birthday, Nyah Love did what she always did when she felt pent up.
She ran.
The physical exertion served as a temporary balm for the emotional scars she carried. And although she knew her path might, one far-off day, lead her southward, back to the New South Wales township of Wildstone, where she’d have to confront her disgruntled mother and her horrific past head-on, for now, and the foreseeable future, she relished the solace she always found in the rhythmic cadence of her feet pressing against the tropical Far North Queensland earth.
Beside her, her faithful three-year-old giant poodle, Ragnar, named after her favourite Vikings character, kept pace with ease. His curly black coat shone under the gentle rays of the rising sun as he proudly carried his beloved squishy toy duck between his teeth, its occasional squeak bringing smiles to the faces of other exercise junkies who were also out at sun-up.
For Nyah, this was the best time of the day, before she was bombarded by the hectic and sometimes heartbreaking expectations of her job as a child psychologist at the Palm Cove State Primary School. As for her four-legged exercise buddy, come rain, hail or shine, Ragnar always joined her on her daily treks, and she adored him for his unconditional companionship. Unlike most people she’d encountered throughout her life—bar her father Robert and stepmum Rae—her pooch offered unwavering strength, and his loyalty was a comfort against the uncertainties that often lingered within her heart.
The tropical humidity hung in the air as the first rays of dawn painted the ocean-hugged coastline of the Cairns Esplanade with a vibrant array of mesmerising shades, the hues of ruddy rose and fiery auburn blending together to create a breathtaking panorama against the emerging powder-blue spring sky. Wiping beads of sweat from her brow, Nyah enjoyed the invigorating scene unfolding as her runners left the concrete path and met the timber boardwalk with a steady rhythm. As she circled the glistening lagoon that buzzed with an early class of aqua aerobics, her quickened breath mingled with the salty breeze from the nearby Coral Sea as she immersed herself in the old-school trance music playing from her AirPods—for her, this was her ultimate happy place. Cardio was her saving grace from what could sometimes be an overwhelmingly chaotic world, and each of her practised footsteps was a declaration of her commitment to face the shadows of her past that, if left to darken, would threaten to consume her.
And she knew all too well what that deep dark hole felt like.
She was never going back there.
Her long, dark curls pulled back into a ponytail that swayed in time with her movements, and her piercing blue eyes focused on the horizon where the endless expanse of sea met with the sky, she slowed a little as she jogged along the familiar path, towards the pier where she would circle back to her Jeep Wrangler. Watching one of the tourist boats heading out for the day, she felt her mind float back to last month, when she, her dad and Rae had joined a snorkelling trip out to the reef—what a magical day it had been, witnessing the brightly coloured aquatic world that thrived beneath the water’s surface. It had blown her mind to learn that the Great Barrier Reef was one of the very few biological structures visible from space—she couldn’t wait to find the right moment to go back and do it again.
Breathing in nice and deep, she drank in the beauty of the great outdoors from the farthest point of the jetty while letting the vast Far North Queensland sky ease the restlessness within her soul. She paused, briefly, for a moment of silent gratitude—the esplanade was her sanctuary, a place where she could outrun her past, if only for a little while. In her early twenties, she’d done her fair share of travelling the globe whenever she’d had a break from university, seeing Italy, Spain, England and the USA, but she hadn’t even contemplated settling down anywhere else in the big wide world. Here in Cairns, she’d found her home, her haven. And just like she did every day when she stood in this spot, pondering her existence while hoping her missing sister’s heart was still beating with life, she felt blessed to be able to call such a majestic place her home.
And that was all thanks to her wonderful dad.
She hoped and prayed he would make a full recovery from his recent knee replacement, so he could eventually go back to doing what he loved, teaching martial arts. But for now he was under strict orders from his surgeon to move, but not too much, so he healed well and didn’t end up with blood clots. Nyah couldn’t even imagine Robert Love having to rely on a walker to get around the house, but it was his reality, much to her stepmother’s exasperation. He hated feeling ‘like an invalid’—his words, not hers. In just two days, he’d found himself stuck on the loo, in the lounge chair and on the patio day bed.
Nyah had inherited her stubbornness from him.
Closing her eyes, she stole one more second of peace, then made a move. It was time to head back home, shower, eat and then get to work. So, turning around, she fell back into her own tempo, to the beat of Darude’s ‘Sandstorm’.
Mid-stride, she reached down and ran her hand through Ragnar’s fur. ‘You’re the best, buddy.’
The giant poodle looked up at her with adoration and pride shining in his intelligent eyes.
She chuckled to herself. ‘You already know that, though, right?’
In these shared moments with her friend, her world narrowed down to nothing but the sound of her breathing, the scent of the sea, and the warmth of the air enveloping her as if Mother Nature was offering a protective embrace. It was here, amid Cairns’ natural beauty, that she found respite from the haunting memories that lay dormant, waiting for their chance to resurface in her nightmares, on a bad day, in idle time—she never knew when they would come. But it was never while she was running.
The pair continued their trek along the water’s edge, each step carrying them back along the winding path, where the boat-dotted harbour faded into the background. Their movements were synchronised—a testament to their unbreakable bond forged through shared moments of unspoken understanding and loads of chuckling, duck-throwing playtime. Even when the occasional jogger passed by while tugging a lively dog back from Ragnar’s path, her loyal pooch remained entirely focused on her, as if he understood the significance of these morning rituals for her wellbeing.
Nyah loved him even more for his doggy awareness.
Lost in her thoughts, she felt a subtle vibration against her thigh cut through the soothing hum of the uplifting music. She quickly reached into the pocket of her shorts, retrieving the phone that was demanding her attention. Slowing to a halt, with her chest heaving from exertion, she glanced at the screen and smiled. She had planned to call her dad hands-free on the drive to work, for their usual morning chat, but he’d beaten her to it.
‘Hey, Dad,’ she answered, her voice breathless. ‘You’re up nice and early.’ Ragnar sat beside her, tilting his head curiously at the sudden pause.
‘Nyah, sweetheart.’ Robert’s deep voice came through, heavy and weary in a way that immediately set her heart racing with dread.
‘Dad, are you okay?’ She immediately imagined him having fallen, alone if Rae was at one of her early yoga classes.
‘Yes, it’s not me, I’m fine, sweetheart.’ He breathed in sharply. ‘It’s your mum.’ He cleared his throat. ‘She’s…she’s passed away.’
The words hung in the air like a dark cloud, stark and surreal against the backdrop of the iridescent tropical morning sunshine. ‘Passed away?’ The words slipped through the hand covering her mouth. ‘But she’s only fifty-three.’ The ground felt as if it might give way, and she quickly sank onto a nearby bench. ‘What happened?’ She choked through the lump of emotion now lodged in her throat.
‘Apparently it was cancer, love.’ Robert paused, as if trying to find the right words. ‘I’m so sorry, Nyah.’
‘Cancer?’ She shook her head. ‘I know she and I haven’t spoken in forever, but surely, if she knew she was dying, she would’ve reached out to me, to at least try and…’ Her voice broke and she stopped speaking before she broke, too.
‘Oh, sweetheart, I know it’s a hard blow, especially when you’d hoped for some kind of resolution for the two of you.’ He sighed sadly. ‘But whatever you do, please keep reminding yourself that your strained relationship with her was never, ever your fault.’
‘Mm-hmm.’ It was all she could murmur as she sought comfort from Ragnar, who now had his head resting on her legs. ‘Who let you know?’
‘Rhonda’s wife, Donna, called me.’ He sniffed, as if warding off sudden feelings. ‘I hadn’t spoken to either of them in years, not since we left, really.’
‘Well, you’ve had the same mobile number forever, Dad.’ She looked to a seagull, swooping towards its breakfast somewhere beneath the rippling water. ‘When’s the funeral?’
‘On Saturday.’ Her father’s voice was thick with emotion. ‘And as for the will…’ He trailed off, then he cleared his throat once more. ‘It’s being read on the following Tuesday, and her lawyer has asked you to be present.’
‘Wildstone.’ The name of her childhood town tasted bitter on her tongue, and she felt a sting on the raw edges of the wound that had never fully healed after the unexplained disappearance of her baby sister, Skye Love.
‘Nyah, are you still there?’
‘Yes, sorry.’ She shook her head. ‘How am I meant to go back there, Dad, after all these years?’ Terrifying memories flooded to the surface, dark and tangled, as the shadows of a past she’d sought to outpace rose to try and overwhelm her.
‘You don’t have to go, Nyah, you know that, right?’ Her father’s voice suddenly seemed miles away.
Drawing in slow and steady breaths, she began to silently count.
1, 2, 3…
As she warded off a stampeding panic attack with the toolbox of cognitive tricks she’d learnt over her years of therapy and being the therapist, her blurry gaze drifted to the sun-drenched horizon as recollections of her mother flashed through her mind like snapshots.
‘Nyah?’ Robert’s voice was tinged with concern.
‘I…’ Her words caught in her throat. ‘I have to go, Dad, I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t.’
‘I understand, sweetheart, I really do, but needless to say I do worry about you going back there.’ Her father’s softened voice carried into her breaking heart. ‘And not only because of everything that happened, but because I know you still hold a torch in your heart for…’ He stopped short of saying the name of her first, and only, love.
Drawing in a shuddering breath, she tried to settle the turmoil roiling inside her as Ragnar licked her hand—his doggy way of offering comfort. ‘I’m sure I can handle seeing Caleb Hart, Dad. It’s the things I can’t see that worry me.’ If her heart beat any faster, it was going to bash its way through her rib cage.
‘I wish I could come with you, maybe if I talk to the doc…’ ‘No, Dad, flying right now is out of the question,’ she said, cutting him off before he could talk his way into doing something so silly.
‘But…’ He was going to try his best.
‘No, Dad, you could get clots in your leg.’
‘Okay, all right.’ He sounded defeated. ‘I know you’re much stronger now than when you were a young girl, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying that it will all become too much again.’ He breathed a concerned sigh when she didn’t respond. ‘But I also know once you make up your mind to do something, you’ll follow through.’
‘A lot like you in that regard, wouldn’t you say?’ She somehow smiled through her melancholy—she loved that she was her father’s daughter in so many ways.
‘Yes, exactly like me.’ He chuckled lightly. ‘Are you sure there’s no way you’ll let me come with you?’
‘Dad, stop, I’m not going to put your life at risk. Flying is bound to cause complications so soon after your operation.’ A little voice inside her was screaming, Please, come and hold my hand, be with me in case I fall apart again, as the pull of her adult obligations warred with her longing to remain safely ensconced in the life she’d painstakingly built away from the scars of the past, the life her father had selflessly given her.
‘I’m going to be only a phone call away, remember that.’
‘I know, thanks, Dad.’ His reassurance wound its way around her heart—it was a reminder of the many nights he’d spent holding her as a child, chasing away the terrors that lurked in the dark.
‘Do you want me to see if Rae will fly down with you?’
‘No, but thanks for the offer; you need her there to help you around the house.’ She wished with all her heart that she could be embraced in his shielding hug right now. ‘Don’t worry about me; you just focus on getting better.’ He’d taught her karate, not just as a means of self-defence, but as a path to find her inner strength, to stand tall against whatever life threw at her—and she would take this skill to Wildstone.
There was a drawn-out silence before Robert’s voice sounded back into her consciousness. ‘If things get too tough, promise me you’ll reach out to me and Rae.’ His words were tempered with the softness only a father’s love could bring.
‘I promise I will.’ Whining, Ragnar pushed his muzzle into her palm. ‘It’s okay, buddy,’ she said soothingly. ‘I better get a move on, Dad, so I’m not late for work, but I’ll drop round and see you after work, okay?’
‘Okay. I love you, Nyah.’ Robert’s voice was a steady anchor in the tumultuous sea of her emotions.
‘Love you too, Dad, very much.’
As the call ended, she fought back an onslaught of emotions—deep sadness, disappointment, shock and a feeling of abandonment. Yet again her mother had gone and left her without any explanation, but this time around she didn’t have the luxury of hope to hang on to. Claire was gone, forever, and that was a mighty long time. The weight of regret and anger made it difficult to breathe, and the instinct to run and hide overcame her. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to steady the tremors threatening to unravel her. She knew she had two routes—to cower and crumble, or to stand and shoulder the storm. Option two was more her style these days, although it was easier said than done. She understood the journey back to Wildstone was more than just a physical distance to traverse—it was a return to a place filled with echoes of immense joy and resounding sorrow.
She was going to have to find a way to survive it.
On her own.
With an incredibly heavy heart, she stood up from the bench and Ragnar rose with her. She wasn’t ready to face the past that awaited her in the dusty embrace of Wildstone, but would she ever be?
Probably not.
Her dad had taught her that resilience wasn’t the absence of fear; instead, it was facing it head-on and pushing through it. And that’s exactly what she was planning on doing. Wildstone was a part of who she was, but it didn’t define her—she was so much more than her past. Walking in a circle, she heaved a breath, then another, her decision to return to the place of her nightmares taking root. To be able to get through her workday, she’d pretend her mother was still alive, huddled up in her cottage in Wildstone while ignoring the rest of the world, like she always had since that fateful day. But Nyah knew that once she’d stepped off the plane, and her feet touched the parched ground she’d once lived on, reality would give her a firm slap to the face.
