Whispers of salvation.., p.1
Whispers of Salvation - A Journey to Reclaim Hope, page 1
Whispers of Salvation: A Journey to Reclaim Hope
Book 1
N.E. Stevenson
Copyright © 2023 N.E. Stevenson. All Rights Reserved.
Whispers of Salvation: A Journey to Reclaim Hope – Book 1
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, places, people, or incidents are coincidental.
While the author may use their own experiences with certain instances, the book is entirely fictional.
To my daughter, I may not be your biological mother, but you will always be the best thing to ever happen to me.
And to my supportive partner, I love you more than words could ever describe. Thank you for saving me and for letting me have a zoo. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
PLEASE look after yourself, as much as I would like you to read my book, please look at trigger warnings first and decide if this is safe for your mindset to read.
This is a reverse harem book. Containing spicy scenes.
MMFMMM+
Trigger Warnings!
Autumn has had a rough life so far, so warnings are for what is to come in this series.
Self-harm, depression, suicide ideation, suicide attempts, anxiety, PTSD, grief, Death of a family member, Sexual assault and Rape, abuse (verbal, physical and sexual), kidnapping, on page murders, alcoholism, grooming. Most of these situations will be on screen.
But with the dark stuff also comes the super-duper fun stuff like
Sub/Dom scenarios, choking, DP, bondage, group scenes, sensory play, and all the other fun kinky shit that comes with slightly psycho but cinnamon roll men with touch her and die vibes.
If any of my family/friends have supported me by buying this book, please stop reading, I beg you.
If you know me and you read this book. No, you don’t.
And if you don’t know me, and have downloaded or even bought this book, hello new best friend.
Spotify Playlist
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Mb7241plXwsYbxWfK3EUQ?si=d4f43beaea3a4815
For 8 years, all I have known is trying to survive one day to the next.
One night causes me to lose everything, nearly including my life.
Waking up in a hospital bed, surrounded by the people I never thought I would see again, after they abandoned me 8 years ago instead of saving me, is not what I expected, either is the four new men who are insisting they want to be there for me while I heal.
Will it be enough to make me want to live again? Or is it too late for me?
Conas is féidir leat éirí, mura bhfuil tú dóite. –
How can you rise, if you have not been burned.
CONTENTS
Authors Note
Autumn
Autumn
Autumn
Autumn
Kelvin
Atlas
Atlas
Autumn
Autumn
Zander
Autumn
Atlas
Autumn
Dominic
Autumn
Autumn
Tobias
Autumn
Atlas
Autumn
Autumn
Autumn
Autumn
Autumn
Sebastian
Dominic
Autumn
Epilogue
Chapter 1
Autumn
I could hear the heavy footsteps coming up the creaky stairs. My heart rate picking up knowing what was coming next, the footsteps were heavier than what my mom’s ones were, which meant this was another one because mom wanted a drink. The child support money didn’t go far anymore, not with the way she drank nowadays.
“Please, not again.” I whimpered while my bedroom knob turned, hearing his breathing heavy, and already able to smell the beer on his breath even from across the room, like a rancid hazy cloud around him. I squeezed my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep hoping that he would leave instead of coming closer.
“Shh, don’t make too much noise, bitch.” he slurred, while stumbling over to my bed, tripping over a doll that Chloe left in my room earlier that day. He flops onto the edge of my bed, scooting closer while saying shh, like he’s trying to calm a spooked animal. I can barely see him because of how dark my room is but I know why he’s here, I know there’s no hiding from what’s about to come next, so I close my eyes as tight as I can while trying to move away from him.
“LOOK AT ME!”
My eyes spring open, while a tear slides down my face. I know better than to let weakness show, but I’m just so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of this, tired of being a parent to Chloe instead of a sister, but I must be strong for her, always for her.
I know the tears make them more excited, they like me broken, but I can’t help it, I hurt all over, after the beating mom gave me earlier, for asking for money for food, so I could cook dinner for me and Chloe while mom went out to the bar, looking for her next customer. I knew she wouldn’t be back until late, and there was nothing in the house, I could wait but Chloe was only four, so innocent and pure. I didn’t want her to know what hunger pains felt like, where you physically clawed at your stomach to try relieving the cramps that would inevitably disappear until you just felt hollow.
I must have zoned out for longer than I thought, because the sound of his zipper being pulled down, was like a shotgun going off in my small box room. The heavy grunts as he shucks his trousers off, and stumbles as he kicks them off, then proceeds to climb on to the bed to tower over me.
His breath smells like he has been having a weekend long binge at the bar, cigarettes, and stale beer, making me want to lean over the edge of the bed and vomit. Why did they always smell like that?
“Take it off, now.” He demands, while tugging on my nipple, through my shirt, making me cry out in pain, he gives a self-satisfied smirk as if that shit felt good, when I just want to grab his and do it right back to see how he would like it, but I know what would happen if I don’t just go along with it, like mom has made me do over the last 7 years of my life, since we left dad. Not like he’s been around since we left, he has a new family with Brenn, I don’t matter to him, I don’t think I ever did.
The man on top of me has obviously gotten sick of me not paying him any attention, because I’m brought out of my thoughts, by him back handing me across the face.
My face jerks to the side, letting out a pained cry then biting my lip to try stop myself from crying out, so I don’t wake Chloe in the next room to me. He rips my shirt open and shoves my shorts down. Taking what he wants, like they all have. Not like I have a choice, mom lets it happen, she sets it up and gets paid for it, and as long as I let it happen, it means Chloe is safe from the abuse.
His grunts fill the room, and I stare at the damp spot on my ceiling, trying to think of happier memories to try get through this. Thoughts of a little boy, who had hair as dark as the nights in wintertime, bright green eyes and a smile that was the best part of my day, while mom and dad argued every day.
“Come on Atty, you need to help me catch the frog!” I squealed as we chased the little green frog, across the grass towards the lake in my back garden.
“Slow down Pumpkin! I’m coming, but you’re going to scare it away, if you keep squealing like that! We need to be sneaky.” Atty whispers to me. I never understood why he called me Pumpkin, instead of Autumn like mom and dad do, but he said it was because the first time he seen me, I was carrying the biggest pumpkin into my house, and I had the biggest smile on my face because it was the first one, I was getting to carve myself.
Atty has been my best friend since we were five, he introduced himself to me, and declared himself my best friend and that was it. I didn’t have any other friends, but that was ok because I had my Atty. He was always by my side, making sure the bullies never hurt me. He got into trouble a lot at school, because he would hit the ones that would say mean things about me, but I secretly loved it, because it made me feel safe, like nothing in the world could ever hurt me, as-long as I had him.
My head is jerked to the side again with another slap, and I can feel my lip reopen from an earlier cut. My eyes snap to the man above me again, as he finishes on my stomach, with a long-pained grunt. Thank fuck he pulled out, because I don’t think he used anything. I watch him pull himself off me, and stumble around for his trousers, more grunts fill the room as he tries to get them on without falling over. He finally leaves, and I sag in relief that it’s over for tonight. I let the tears fall then, feeling violated, while feeling his release starting to dry on my skin, I’m desperate to get it off of me, but I know my mom is still downstairs and he is still here, so I lay there for another 30 minutes, trying to choke back the sobs so Chloe doesn’t hear me, until I hear the front door open and then slam closed.
I get up to go to the bathroom downstairs, to wipe the dried cum from me, I grab another pair of shorts and a black shirt, that has holes in it from years of wear and tear, I make my way
“I’m going to bed, don’t let that useless brat make any noise in the morning” mom grits out.
“Yes mom.” I sigh, there’s no point arguing with her that Chloe is only four, that she’s just excited to get to school, to see all her friends and my body really can’t take anymore abuse today, I need to still be able to move, so I can look after Chloe and go to school. Only a few more months until I can leave and hopefully, try take Chloe with me.
I’m hoping if I tell mom she can keep getting the child maintenance money and the benefits for us, she’ll let me leave with her, but I know it’s a long shot. Mom gets too much money from selling my unwilling body to the men from the bar. I’m younger than her, so they are more than happy to spend extra for the ‘tighter pussy’ as mom likes to say.
I’m too focused on trying to get away from mom and all the things I need to do in the morning, that I don’t see the way her face contorts into the usual rage before a hit, until I’m feeling the slam of her fist into my ribs.
“Don’t fucking have an attitude with me, you ungrateful whore. Be thankful I kept you after the shit with Charlie. At least this way you have a use to me.” She screams.
Bile rises in my throat at the mention of Charlie, Chloe’s biological dad. He’s not around, and he only pays mom child support, but he’s my biggest monster, bigger than the men who have snuck into my room at night, for the last 7 years.
I lunge for the bathroom while my mom laughs, walking away up the stairs to her bed. I just make it to the rim of the toilet, when I empty my stomach, retching until nothing but bile is coming up. My hands are shaking, and I can feel a cold sweat starting to break out on my forehead and the back of my neck, while I try push old memories down of my stepfather.
Finally, after sitting on the chipped bathroom floor, I get up to the sink and look into the mirror. My dyed blonde hair is a mess, my hazel eyes look empty and lifeless, my lip has dried blood on it, from the reopened cut and the scar on my neck stands out with how pale I am.
I soak a cloth with warm water and hand soap and wipe my face, stomach, and then brush my teeth, I still feel dirty, but I can’t chance a shower, when I feel like death warmed over. I’m dizzy and I know the extra hit mom gave me, aggravated one of my broken ribs earlier because it’s hard to breathe. I make my way back to bed, checking in on Chloe on the way to make sure she hasn’t woken at any point. I’ve tried to protect her as much as possible over the last 4 years since she was born. I took one look at her, the day she came into this world and said she was mine to protect, since I knew mom wouldn’t. I finally get back into bed and check the time. 3 am. Shit. I’m up in 3 hours to get Chloe up and ready for school. I’m going to need coffee, to even get halfway through the day.
Finally, I fall asleep. Praying I don’t have nightmares, because I’m already so exhausted.
Chapter 2
Autumn
I’m awoken by the ultimate trauma sound. The iPhone alarm. Granted it’s a super old iPhone that barely works, but that sound gives me heart palpitations, every single day. Groaning and grumbling under my breath, knowing that moving and getting out of bed is going to hurt like a bitch, I mentally prepare myself.
“One, two, three.” I whisper to myself but before I could even make a move Chloe comes barrelling into my bedroom screaming my name, her red hair sticking up in all directions, and her bright blue eyes trained right on me.
“AUTUMNNNNN!!!! THERE’S A HUMOONGOOSE SPIDER ON THE ROOF!” she screams and launches herself at me. I let out an oomph, but I can’t help chuckle at how she pronounces humongous, still I feel like my ears are bleeding and mom’s warning from last night pops up, so I know I need to get her to quiet down, before she wakes up mom.
“Shhh Chloe, we don’t want to wake mom up, remember? I’ll get the spider later, after I make you breakfast, now how about we get you ready for school huh?” Which seems to do the trick because she goes from hyperventilating about the spider, to chatting happily about what she’s going to be doing at school today. I get her downstairs and start by brushing out her hair and French braiding it in two sections with little pink bows on the bottom to match her pink dress, that she’s chose for today. I manage to get her to sit quietly with cartoons on the old box tv while I make her toast for breakfast since the milk spoiled a few days ago, and the last of the orange juice, while making myself a black coffee to try wake myself up a bit more. Looking in the fridge looking for ingredients for Chloe’s lunch, I know I’m going to have to ask mom for money again today, and hope like hell she gives me it this time.
I got lucky last night with finding some old pasta in the cupboard and managing to use the last tomatoes and cheese, to make some sort of a sauce for Chloe to have, because that girl hates plain pasta. She might be four, but she has the personality of a diva, and the attitude of a mean girl high schooler. She says whatever comes into her head, even when it shouldn’t, and I’ve had to apologise because of her multiple times over the last year, while she’s found her voice after starting school.
Finally, she finishes her breakfast, since she was so engrossed in her cartoons and I’ve chucked on an old band shirt with my jeans, that have definitely seen better days, with my white trainers. Quickly putting on some makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes, and the bruises, that can’t be covered up by clothes and I brush my teeth. I put Chloe’s plate in the sink, realising I don’t have enough time to do the dishes before we leave, knowing mom is going to kick off later when I’m home. I just sigh and grab my phone and Chloe’s lunch from the counter, knowing the argument is a later Autumns problem and grab Chloe’s shoes, we get them on her, then try to leave the house as quietly as possible.
“Are you sleepy Autumn? Did you have bad dweams again?” Chloe whispers to me, as I lock up the house. My eyes shoot to hers, this damn kid is too perceptive, I quickly look away, turn around while I shove my keys in my pocket and take her hand.
“No bad dreams Chlo, I just stayed up a bit too late y’know?” Trying my best to sound convincing, because I know damn well, I woke up twice after my nightly visit, having to hold in my screams from nightmares about the monster.
“It’s ok Autumn, I’ll give you Bun tonight, he’ll scare the bad dweams away. Like he does for me. Then you won’t be sad, I don’t like it when you’re sad.” Chloe says in her chipper tone, like everything truly will be ok.
“When did you get so wise huh?” I say, while tickling her, to try lift the mood more and take my mind off the fact that my baby sister is growing up way too fast and is seeing more than she ever did. I don’t want to ruin any of her innocence, but there’s only so much I can do to protect her from mom.
We spend the rest of the walk to her school, playing I Spy and me guessing everything incorrectly even when they are the most obvious answers, just to keep the smile on her face for a bit longer. The walk was a bit slower than usual today, because of my ribs and other bruises but we finally got there and just in time. The moment we get to her school, she sees one of her friends and she takes off running, shouting a hasty “Bye!” over her shoulder to me. Laughing under my breath I shout, “Love you too Chloe.” back at her, earning a few dirty looks from the parents dropping off their children. I’ve seen the way they look at me, some thinking I’m some sort of teen mom, others with pity because they know my mom from the bar or have heard stories about her and assume I’m the same as her. When all I want is to get my high school diploma and do online college classes, while working so I can provide a semi-normal childhood for Chloe. That little girl is my reason for still being alive, and I will not allow her to ever experience anything I ever have, I need her to always be happy and smiling, otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do.
