At this level, it’s important to remember that the choices you make around your wants and desires have consequences—good and bad—when it comes to fulfilling God’s core callings on your life. For instance, your choices and the pursuits that spring from them may complement these callings; they may create conflict or impose roadblocks in fulfilling them; or they may foster circumstances that keep one or more of these callings from ever happening. Whatever direction your life ultimately takes, much of its unique script is written here by the decisions you make.

  The third level is where the world’s values reside and where cultural forces seek to shape, manipulate, and form your life into certain prescribed patterns. This ring often unleashes godless values wrapped in stylish images, and it does so by relentlessly bombarding you through music, media, academia, and popular opinion to gain your allegiance.

  Here you are told what you should look like; what standards you should embrace; how you need to arrange your personal, career, and domestic priorities; and what you should believe about womanhood. Here the world constantly presses to choose for you how you should think and live. Without a conscious effort to combat this pressure, it’s amazingly easy to give in to it.

  Your Lifestyle Direction

  Although the diagram on page 49 can summarize your life, something else is needed to show how you actually live as a woman. Generally speaking, the life-shaping power of a woman’s life flows in one of two directions—either from the outside in or from the inside out.

  Let’s first address outside-in living. Many women live primarily by the dictates of the world’s power and influence. Maybe you live this way more than you know or would like to admit. As I said, it’s a current that’s hard to resist without conscious effort.

  When you live from the outside in, the world’s values and the cultural conformities that go with them will dominate almost everything about you. This outer ring will squeeze and reshape all the inner rings of your life into its mold. Your wants and desires, personal choices, what you do with your gifts and abilities, and your beliefs about your core callings all shift onto the tracks set down by the world’s priorities. From here you yield to cultural images and measure your life by the themes of your favorite movies; the ideas in the latest best-selling books; the images in magazines; or the opinions of your favorite educator, politician, or social trendsetter. You are driven by your senses—what you see, hear, and feel—not by well-defined spiritual convictions. When you live this way, your core soon bears the twisted influence of the outside world. And when the outside world changes its values, or presents new options and opportunities, you shift again, always working to make your inside fit the outside.

  But this doesn’t work. Instead, you experience problems and conflict. You may even experience lifelong regret. That’s because by living from the outside in, God’s core callings for your womanhood have been compromised, dumbed down, or choked out altogether by a new set of worldly outside callings (see Mark 4:18–19). Some Christian women live this way more than they know and wonder why life is so troubled and conflicted.

  Outside-in living was never God’s design. Romans 12:2 says it straight up: “Do not be conformed to this world.” Do not! For you as a Christian woman today, that’s a tall order with so much being offered to you by our modern world. Besides, since the day Adam and Eve rebelled against God, humans have gravitated to this kind of living. It has become our nature to believe the world’s ways are better than God’s ways. Outside-in living is naturally our first choice.

  But outside-in living exacts a heavy toll on women. It reshapes and molds life to fit values and attitudes that are not native to the true femininity God has placed within every woman’s heart. To go against this divine grain is an invitation to heartache. Our roots in Genesis shout this warning. Women who forsake their core and choose the forbidden fruit of this world find that in time it leaves them lonely or angry or childless or with angry children or with an angry husband or with no husband or empty or with everything but true happiness. Outside-in living looks delicious on the front end, but it has a deadly back side. Just ask Eve.

  There is a better way, and a number of women are living it. It’s found in heeding a courageous call to live from the inside out. Nothing is more spiritually fundamental to a woman’s life or as powerful.

  This is not a call to withdraw from the world. It is an appeal to you as a woman to let God’s core callings be your starting point in every area and in every decision of your life. Remember, these callings are divine commands, not suggestions. They are meant to shape your world, not be shaped by the world. They are, from a biblical perspective, the sacred nonnegotiables of your life. They are meant to be your guardrails for living in the modern world. As such, they are constantly in your mind to measure and direct the choices and pursuits of your life and in which direction you need to readjust if necessary. While you will certainly enjoy a wide variety of activities, interests, and opportunities that engage your gifts, abilities, wants, and desires, here’s the point: never, ever make choices at the expense of being true to your core callings.

  Over the years I have had the pleasure of observing many women who have embraced by faith these core callings of Genesis. They have made them their dominant reality and let them successfully guide the seasons of their lives. For example:

  The emergency-room physician who leveraged her considerable professional skills not for more money but for less work. A new mom, she negotiated a three-day work week that provided her a way to invest deeply in her daughter and her patients.

  The homemaker who as an empty nester retooled and surprised everyone by becoming an award-winning real estate developer. With a new, more public face, she is now making a Kingdom impact on her community both with her savvy business skills and with her witness for Christ.

  The businesswoman who altered her career to better balance her relationship with her husband. Her willingness to help him has made both of their lives better.

  The scores of working moms I know who, with their husbands’ support, made the difficult choice of stepping away from their jobs to stay home with their children. For many, life from a material standpoint became leaner and more financially challenging. At times the budget shortfalls were downright painful, but these difficulties were outweighed by the joy of being a greater part of their children’s lives.

  All of these women chose to live from the inside out. Each, in her own way, is a New Eve.

  Then there’s the journey of my friend Rebecca Price. As an outgoing, lively new Christian in college, Rebecca expected she would someday have a husband and children. But instead of sitting on the sidelines until that happened, Rebecca rightly decided to follow her gifting and passions and do something to serve God’s kingdom. So after college she began a career in Christian publishing. Gifted with a good sense of what it takes for a book to succeed, Rebecca quickly proved her value. Her career expanded, and with it came greater opportunity. “But all during that time I always thought that one day I would get married and have kids,” she said. “Career was never my driving force.”

  But as time passed, the opportunity for marriage never materialized. Eventually Rebecca was faced with this question: Do I live freely as a single, or do I live waiting for a man? The answer from the Bible seemed clear: trust God and live freely as you are. Courageously, Rebecca embraced that answer and soon found herself being used in new and exciting ways. Doors for furthering the reach of Christianity through publishing opened on the West Coast, in the United Kingdom, and in Africa. Companies such as NavPress, Word, and Multnomah Publishing called on her expertise. And when Random House, the world’s largest English-language trade-book publisher, wanted to develop a Christian imprint called WaterBrook Press, it looked to Rebecca to serve as the vice president of marketing.

  Now fifty-five, Rebecca has begun daring new Kingdom adventures with her friend Lisa Bergren, such as their first book, What Women Want: The Life You Crave and How God Satisfies.3As for marriage and children, those are things God has not brought into her life.

  “I think one of the first questions I’ll have for God in eternity is, Why did You not choose for me to have kids? I have to admit that I really don’t understand why it has turned out that way for me.”

  But this doesn’t mean Rebecca is living with bitterness or regret. Instead, she has focused her life and her gifts even more intensely on God’s core calling of Kingdom building. “It was important to me to be content with what my sovereign God has called me to, and that is what I’ve done. And I feel blessed to see how God has used me and my singleness to further His purposes.” One thing Rebecca wants single Christian women of every age to hear is this: “Don’t take the short view. Women tend to do that and feel despair over not being where they want to be. Be active instead of passively waiting for life to change. By ‘active’ I mean pursue God, pursue love, and pursue excellence. Figure out how God can use you now.”

  I appreciate Rebecca’s courage and bold faith. This is inside-out living at its best. When you keep God’s core callings in focus, ordering your outside according to your inside, life will increasingly gain momentum and freedom. It invites God’s blessing. On the other hand, embrace the outside-in way of life, and you are most often ordering up a serving of dead ends and regrets. I hear this from women all the time: “Why did I think life was all about me? Why didn’t I take God’s Word more seriously? Why did I wait so long to try and have children? Why did I relate to men the way I did? Why did I think my husband could make it without my help and involvement? Why didn’t I invest my single years in something more productive? Why did I believe my kids wouldn’t notice I wasn’t there?”

  It doesn’t have to be this way. But it will take bold moves on your part to secure a better outcome. As I told you earlier, these bold moves are in essence big-picture faith strategies to help you successfully navigate the challenging terrain of the modern world. Rather than just guessing your way through life as so many women do, these bold moves help point the way to a wiser and more satisfying life. So now that our gender journey through Genesis is complete, here is your first bold move for managing life successfully as a New Eve:

  Live from the inside out.

  The first Eve, of course, went a different direction. Her story in Genesis 3 stands as history’s most convincing witness to the wisdom of inside-out living … but for all the wrong reasons. So let’s take a look.

  5

  Eve and the Fall

  Past to present, the landscape of womanhood has included many history turners. These are women of uncommon influence who have changed the world by their unique imprint and left it a different place.

  Esther was one such woman. When she was called from obscurity by a Persian king who needed a wife, her shrewdness and courage as his queen saved her fellow Jews from execution and extinction. Another history turner was Florence Nightingale. In an era when medicine was considered “man’s work,” Florence went against the grain and pursued a career in health care. Through hands-on involvement in wretched medical clinics and military infirmaries, she discovered that poor sanitary conditions were the root cause of many needless deaths. Today, nurses and doctors all over the world trace their life-saving emphasis on sanitation to Ms. Nightingale. Then there was Rosa Parks, a courageous black woman who took a front seat on an Alabama bus and changed race relations in America forever. There were many others: Susan B. Anthony, Margaret Mead, Emily Dickinson, Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth I, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Catherine the Great, Indira Gandhi, Cleopatra … the list goes on and on. History is full of women who have reshaped our world in one way or another. But no woman has turned history so significantly or as permanently as the first woman: Eve.

  Eve’s first claim to fame is simply that she was the mother of us all. Interestingly, biologists now believe this. Recent discoveries in genetics have led scientists to conclude that all humans are descendants of the same woman. The proof, they say, is in our shared mitochondrial DNA. In a Time magazine article titled “Everyone’s Genealogical Mother,” Michael Lemonick writes, “If family trees were charted indefinitely backward, they would eventually converge on a small group of ancients who were ancestors of us all. Now biologists suggest in a report to Nature that a single female living between 140,000 and 280,000 years ago in Africa was the ancestor of everyone on the earth today. Inevitably—and to the probable delight of creationists—many scientists are calling her ‘Eve.’”1

  Yes, Eve was a real person. Hard science is edging closer to the biblical plotline. And while DNA now offers us a genetic link to her, Genesis 3 offers us a much fuller picture. So take a look. No, you won’t find her physically described there. You’ll have to imagine that for yourself. In your mind’s eye you may see her as I do: as a dark-haired beauty with strong physical features; sharp wit; and an energetic, determined personality. But the social and spiritual images of Eve in Genesis 3 are eye-popping. These pictures have been purposefully preserved for you and for women of every generation to gain insight. Look closely enough at them, and you’ll even notice traces of yourself in Eve. Yes, you are a unique individual, but at the same time, it’s important to recognize your connectedness to your supragreat-grandmother and how she predisposes you as a woman to certain tendencies, traits, and temptations. That’s why Eve is so important. Her past is your present.

  Options

  In Genesis 3 Eve discovered for the first time that there was something else in life besides God’s will and calling for her. Life had options! Everything was not fixed or guaranteed. Choices could be made.

  Offering one major option was a crafty serpent with an exceptional marketing strategy. In their encounter he pressed Eve from the outside to abandon those callings God had given her to embrace on the inside. And the emotional buttons this serpent pushed to tempt her in that direction should sound familiar to every modern woman.

  God and the man speaking for Him are holding you back. Don’t you know that?

  You’ve been lied to.

  Do you call this fair—having these limitations placed on you?

  Can’t you see how second-rate you are right now? Why are you doing this to yourself?

  It’s time for you to take control of your own destiny and maximize your potential.

  You need to know that what you don’t have is so much better than what you do have.

  Stop worrying; you won’t die if you strike out on your own. You’ll excel!

  Don’t let others keep you from your best.

  You can have it all!

  Theologians will tell you this serpent was actually only a puppet. Speaking through it was the master of all evil we know today as Satan. In the wonder of the original garden, a snake was certainly an appropriate disguise for Satan to use to approach and engage the first woman. In this agrarian setting it made sense. But to target modern women, the puppets for marketing Satan’s voice have had to change. Talk-show hosts, movie stars, college professors, advertising agencies, songwriters, authors, and social critics do nicely. These outlets are craftily manipulated and appropriately placed for maximum impact. But the messages themselves have not changed. Look at them again. Today’s tempting voices use the same old Genesis 3 pickup lines. And every modern woman who listens to them becomes Eve all over again.

  Satan’s deception of Eve brought us to a cataclysmic moment that today still affects us all. Most of us know it simply as the Fall. It was a moment when all of God’s original intentions and core callings for you as a woman (and for me as a man) became twisted, distorted, and—most of all—difficult.

  What the Fall Unleashed

  Genesis 3 should have featured Adam in the starring role of a courageous protector. After all, he was supposed to head this relationship with the same loving leadership with which Jesus would later cover His church (Eph. 5:23). Instead, Adam was strangely missing from this dramatic scene as Eve dangerously entertained the serpent’s overtures. Where was he? The tragedy is, he was actually around, though we will have to look closely in this moment to find him. After six long verses of satanic dialogue with Eve, we finally catch a brief glimpse of Adam. Almost as an afterthought, Genesis 3:6 says he was “with her.” In other words, the whole time this evil madness was being unleashed on Eve, Adam was right there, watching his wife’s strength wane as Satan deceived her into abandoning God’s command not to eat the forbidden fruit.

  We are not told why Adam was so passive in this life-or-death moment or what he was thinking, but we can guess. Clearly, Adam was no dummy. He was an ingenious, creative, natural-born leader designed by God to rule the world. He was also keenly aware of what was happening and what was at stake. For those reasons it seems clear that Adam was testing God and selfishly using his wife to do so. By letting his wife take the fruit without his direct involvement, Adam had already reasoned that he would win, regardless of the outcome. If she ate and died as God had previously warned (Gen. 2:17), he could profess innocence by not having participated. On the other hand, if Eve ate and didn’t die, then Adam had proof that God was, in fact, holding back on what was best for them. In that case Adam still had time to join his wife in this new life. Obviously, Adam thought he had outwitted everyone, including God.

  It was a huge mistake.

  The truth is, as Adam stood and watched his wife entertain sin, he sinned! Not overtly but covertly. Adam denied God even before Eve’s deception was complete. He shunned his leadership responsibilities, he abandoned his helper, and he embraced evil in his heart. But rather than outwitting God, he discovered a higher reality he should have known: “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7).

 

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