A mind-blowing science fiction thriller from an award-winning Star Trek and Doctor Who author who was nominated for the British Fantasy Award! One mistake by space linguist Jalila could cost an alien species their lives. The crew of the starship IBN BATTUTA has 24 hours to prepare the people of planet Vox to face an approaching invasion fleet. But when Jalila mistakenly uses a forbidden slur, the Vox locals attack their supposed saviors. Drawn into a violent revolution, a "war of words" to decide language dominance, Jalila must rely on other resources when deprived of communication technology and even the power of speech. As revolution and invasion collide, only Jalila can save her shipmates and the planet Vox by revealing the secret behind the slur that started it all, the dark secret linking Vox and invaders in an ancient cycle of slavery, suffering, lies, and death.

Sixteen-year-old genius Idea Deity believes that he exists only in the pages of a novel written by a malevolent, omnipotent author...and that he will die in chapter 64. Meanwhile, an older teen named Reacher Mirage sings lead vocals for the undercover rock band Youforia...a band that exists in Idea's world only as an Internet hoax that Idea himself perpetuated. Then there's beautiful and mysterious Eunice Truant, who links their destinies. When Idea and Reacher plunge into the reality of Fireskull's Revenant, the twisted epic fantasy novel they've both been reading, chapter 64 bears down on them like a speeding freight train on an unstoppable collision course. Being trapped in a bad book can be a nightmare. Just ask Idea Deity.

What if Alzheimer's struck the World's Mightiest Hero? His daughter, heroic Hericane, finds out the hard way. Gripped by dementia, godlike Epitome tears apart a city, and no one can stop him. Will his madness destroy the entire world? Not if Hericane recruits the one big gun who stands a chance in Hell of stopping her father in his tracks. But the battle of the century between the super-charged titans might just kick-start the Apocalypse instead of stopping it. Because Epitome and his nemesis have much more in common than ultimate power. The shocking secret they share could turn history itself inside out.

6 stories for one low price by a British Fantasy Award nominee: "Wave a White Flag": An old man throws everything out the window. "Day of the Mad Shitter": Hunting a workplace slob. "How to Get Lucky": A narcoleptic's nightmares. "A Wall of Lisas": A lonely woman goes mad. "The Day After They Rounded Up Everyone Who Could Love Unconditionally": A society sheds its weakest links. "The Walking Bomb": A minister becomes a human bomb.

In these pages, Robert T. Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. You've never met anyone quite like Tizona, the talking sword of the Spanish warrior El Cid...Omar Wild, the dying jazzman whose tunes foretell the future...Terpsichore the muse, who creates a monster when she makes a certain piper a medieval idol...Virgil the mind reader, who sees terrifying visions through the eyes of his true love...Alice, who finds that Wonderland can be a nightmare for grown-ups...and Vincent, an artist haunted by creatures with top hats for heads. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising fantasy tales by a Doctor Who author who was nominated for the British Fantasy Award. It's the latest collection from award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy that really packs a punch. His stories have appeared in books, magazines, websites, and podcasts around the world. He was nominated for the...

In these pages, you will witness some of the most twisted, mysterious, and thrilling stories ever to bloody a crime scene. Meet Johnny Murder, the baddest bad guy ever to rise from the dead on Bourbon Street (or did he?)...Jean-Claude, a waiter who'll do anything to turn the tables on the competition...Buddy, the nastiest home invader ever to cross a threshold with knife in hand...Sister Mayhem, nun turned crimefighter...Mr. Mayflower, who'll trade the cure for cancer in exchange for dirty deeds done at his command...and Eve, the first detective in history, on the trail of the killer of her son, Abel. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising crime tales from award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected crime and mystery fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes six crime e-book stories and novelettes for one low price, including "Home Invasion," which you won't find anywhere else: "Who Unkilled Johnny Murder?": Johnny...

Say goodbye to the Polka Prince and hello to the sexy crimesolver with a polka twist, Lottie Kachowski. This thirtysomething fireball left for L.A. years ago, but she roars home to New Krakow, Pennsylvania for her dad the Polka Prince's funeral...and ends up investigating his murder. If only she didn't have to team up with his screwball girlfriend, Polish Peg, to navigate the wild world of small town polka. Can she crack the case without Peg driving her nuts? Can she dig up her family's darkest secrets without dying at the hands of a psychopathic monster? When you've got polka in your blood like Lottie, you just know the bad guy's going to face the music. Don't miss this thrilling tale from the master of mystery, Hank Deacon. Expect the unexpected in the first book in the Lottie Kachowski series.

Meet Cary Beacon, a super-hero in his own mind. Cary's mission to rescue his kidnapped step-kids leads him to Mexico, where he teams up with El Yucatango, a gonzo masked wrestler on a mission of vengeance. As Cary and El Yucatango fight the battle of their lives to save the kids, Cary's disappearance forces together his fractured family back home, torn apart by a fiery tragedy years ago. The parallel quests of Cary and his family link to an explosive moment in true-life history: the KKK's 1924 siege of the immigrant mining town of Lilly, Pennsylvania, which left a curse on the Beacon family. Can delusional Cary break the curse? If he and his siblings reunite as their childhood backyard alter egos, The Nuclear Family, maybe they stand a chance. Don't miss this action-packed thriller with a comic book sensibility, now available from ...

Why does Cape Cod, Massachusetts keep changing into Tijuana, Mexico? Don't ask Patty, the foul-mouthed everything-hater with a memory full of holes. Every time the lump on her head buzzes, Cape Cod becomes Tijuana or vice versa. One minute, Patty sees lighthouses and well-dressed children; the next, she fends off pushy street kids and donkeys done up like zebras. Has she lost her mind, or is someone—or something—driving her crazy? Little by little, the truth seeps through...but the dark secrets it forces to the surface might be far more terrible than any illusion.Don't miss this surprising story by award-winning writer Robert T. Jeschonek, an award-winning master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch.

In the baseball league of the future, losing the World Series will get you the death penalty. Nobody cares if anti-MVP Thal Simoleon choked because of an opera-singing pink hippo that only he can see. Angry fans hunt him down in murderous mobs, dying to get a piece of him. And that damn pink hippo taunts him every step of the way, always making things worse. But the sins of the past that set the death hunt in motion might also point the way to salvation. Will the pink hippo's terrible secret be the key that leads Thal back to some kind of glory? Or will he die in extra innings of the bloodiest high-tech basebrawl of all time? Only the hippo knows. This scifi masterpiece will race you out to the edge of reality and blow your mind. Don't miss the uncut version of this story, available here from Pie Press for the first time. Award-winning science fiction author Robert T. Jeschonek has written Star Trek and Doctor Who fiction and futuristic stories for books, magazines, websites,...

What if you could have someone legally declared a dick? Simon Bellerophon does just that! When pain in the ass Horne Shaw pushes him too far, Simon sues to have him branded a dick...and wins, in the craziest court case ever. But that's just the beginning of this out-there, in-your-face comedy! When an anti-dick movement tries to stamp out all dicks, Horne leads a dick pride movement that takes the world by storm. The dicks get their own TV show (THE DICK LIFE), drum up an anti-"pussy" campaign, and kick off their own Dickapalooza musicfest. But the wildest action explodes in Bermuda, at the First Annual International Dicklympics. Simon tries to regain the upper hand by sabotaging the Running of the Dicks, but he and Horne fall prey to the man who wants the title of World's Biggest Dick: General Mobai. Will Simon and Horne survive the fight of their lives, or will this true dictator cut them down to size? Will Simon have to become a dick himself in order to rise from the ...

BOOK 2 IN THE TOMMY PUKE ADVENTURES SERIES! Who's the grossest kid in the world? Tommy Puke, that's who! He fights off bullies with his mighty loogies...conquers jerks with his powerful farts...and sticks up for his pet skunk by driving off wild dogs with his blistering bad breath. But what happens when Tommy meets Rhino Man, a barfing hero who's grosser than he is? When Rhino Man shows off stomach-churning fighting moves that even Tommy can't match, Tommy decides to hang up his puke. But Tommy's best friend, Josh, won't give up on him. Josh gets the god of vomit, Chonganda, to let Tommy peek at his future as a grown-up. Will grown-up Tommy convince little Tommy to get gross again? Even if Tommy gets his mojo back, can he hope to defeat the mighty hair-horned Rhino Man and his bag of sickening tricks? One thing is for sure: the puke, boogers, loogies, poop, and goop will fly! Join Tommy Puke for action, laughs, and more disgusting gross-outs than you can shake a booger at!...

Thanks to the sorcerous Mr. Flood, Johnstown, Pennsylvania has drowned three times...and the fourth time will be the charm. By the time he gets done flooding Johnstown, the city will vanish beneath the waves forever. Unless his flood-making apprentice, Dee, has anything to say about it. Refusing to let the fourth flood sink Johnstown, young Dee uses her own powers against her wicked mentor, setting off a battle of magic rainmakers in the heart of the raging storm. Will thousands of people drown in the ultimate deluge? Will madness and destruction doom Johnstown to an eternal watery grave? Or will hope and heart turn back the tide of history, striking a blow against darkness and disaster? Who'll stop the rain? No one, if Mr. Flood gets his way. This fantasy masterpiece made waves around the world, winning a British Fantasy Award nomination and taking Russia by storm. Don't miss the uncut version of this legendary story, available here and now from Tsetse Press. Welcome to ...

Tom, a Marine who fought in Iraq, faces a nightmarish bargain. His wife has terminal cancer. Mr. Mayflower, the Billionaire Samaritan, has a miracle cure...for a price. To save his wife, the Marine must cross a line he thought he'd never cross and commit a crime that goes against his deepest convictions. He does it all for his wife, but Mayflower's deal has dark and terrible strings attached. The double-crossing billionaire drags Tom deeper into a nightmare of pain and brutality, one in which the final price for a foolproof cure might be everything he cares about and the only salvation he has left in the world. Don't miss this exciting tale by award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected crime fiction and mysteries that really pack a punch. His stories have appeared in books, magazines, websites, and podcasts around the world. He won the national grand prize in the Strange New Worlds writing contest from Pocket Books. DC Comics, Simon...

Welcome to the icy land of Drift, where flesh falls from the sky like snow, and snow-people build men of meat the way we build snowmen. Champion meat-man builder Wink creates a masterpiece that comes to life like Frosty the Snowman made of meat. But instead of frolicking through the streets like Frosty, this magical newborn meat-man calls himself Hurt and proceeds to live up to his name. Armed with blazing fire, the ultimate weapon in a land of ice and snow, Hurt launches a murderous rampage that only Wink can stop. If Wink can build a meat-wife for Hurt, the meat-man says the carnage will end. But will Hurt keep his promise? Can Wink save his endangered world? Or will snowmen and meat-people alike fall before the fury of another deadly menace, the winter-time monstrosity known as Squall?Don't miss this surprising tale by award-winning writer Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy that really packs a punch.